Wednesday, June 17, 2009

Lucky Ball & Chain

So, I've never been a huge fan of weddings and the like. Part of it is the fact that there's a huge amount of controversy surrounding who gets the benefits of marriage in the current political climate. Another part is that I was once engaged when I was young and foolish (shiny rings have a way of blurring reality). However, I appear to have reached the age where many of the people I know are a) married b) engaged or c) having babies, accidentally or otherwise. I can't avoid them anymore, especially when they occur in my own family.

Fast forward two weeks and you'll see me as a bridesmaid at my brother's wedding. Appropriately, I will be in a simple black dress more suited for funerals and comfortable shoes (my feet are rejoicing). And to top it off, I will go stag. Going alone to a wedding once was a huge feau pax, but I have honestly never gone to one with a date (well, one, but I didn't even know the bride or groom at that one). I think that when you go alone, you can actually have more fun. No, I will not be trying to pick up a groomsman (most of them are younger than I am), and I will not be getting drunk and taking a second cousin home, either. I will, however, have time to catch up with my extended family and get to know my future sister-in-law's family without the extra worry of needing to entertain a date who knows none of these people.

Ultimately, my anti-wedding sentiment will slip out, though. Perhaps after the fourth or fifth glass of champagne. Those of us who are woefully single dislike watching other people weld themselves together at the hip with the glee of a bag of puppies about to be drowned in a lake. We wish them happiness, don't get us wrong, but we know better. The fun, social world of single life is lost to them, assuming they don't get divorced - which no one would wish on another human being. And we all know the statistics on how many marriages last.

I happen to be from a family still intact and I'm happy to say it's possible. I've seen the hard work they have to put into staying together, especially in rough economic times. And that is why I am still single and not looking for marriage at my age. I'm not holding out for the perfect man or the stars to align themselves into a holy union. I just don't think many people my age know how much work needs to be put into a lasting commitment, and if they do know, they sure don't want to put forth that much effort. If I'm lucky, I figure I'll stumble onto someone who understands the fact that marriage isn't a solution or a destination young relationships strive toward. Rather, marriage is a journey where two people pledge to help one another throughout their lifetimes. Maybe I'll find that. Maybe in about ten years. Maybe.

Until then, I'm not looking too hard at anything in the store windows. They might have some pretty attractive options right now, but few would be a good investment. I think I'm going to save up and buy when the market has matured, and my investment will yield higher dividends. The risk profile I see right now makes investing uninviting at best.

It probably doesn't help that my relationship stock market just crashed like the real one and with less warning. And just like the real market, there's always something safe to invest in. You just have to be smart and conservative in your choices. And, of course, you just have to get lucky sometimes.

And with that, I, Kitty~Amber face this wedding with a smile plastered on my face and will hopefully be able to squeeze out some kind of witty, but kind and thoughtful toast for the lucky couple. Cheers.

3 comments:

  1. I hear ya. I just got out of an almost 4 year relationship. Weddings are totally painful to me. I'm sick of checking facebook every day only to see someone else is engaged. My ex and I were at the marriage point and eventually I said- you either know or you don't know and if you don't know I don't want this anymore. We parted ways. I see friends younger then me that have been with the guy for a year or less and just think about how unfair that is. Love is never fair though. Going to weddings single is truly fun. I've been to weddings with dates that I wish I hadn't brought because I end up chatting to cute single guys. It's always a good way to meet people. I say go alone or bring a gay boy friend for a buffer.

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  2. I always find weddings are great places to meet people. Everyone is hanging out for a long while, everyone is in a good mood thinking about love, and there are lots of people around who you do not normally see on a regular basis.

    Anyways, here are some good wedding toasts to propose after you've had a lot of wine:

    "May they remember the 2 secrets to a happy marriage-a short memory and a good sense of humor."

    "May those pictures of you with the lotion-slicked gourd be forever purged from the Internet."

    "I hope all of your ups and downs and ins and outs are in between the sheets."

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  3. Marriage is a really fast and easy way to ruin a perfectly healthy girlfriend-boyfriend relationship.

    Followed by having to hire a lawyer and convince a judge to let you break up with the other person (this is far more difficult than texting, emailing, leaving a voice mail, taking the other person out for dinner, moving out, etc.).

    Having gone through it once, not all that anxious to be involved in it again for a while. I encourage people who are considering it to devote a lot more time and patience to it than most people have been willing to give.

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